Moving Forward

These days I have to keep reminding myself of this. “matt, you have come so far, don’t give up!” Ever since my program in the big fish has ended, I have felt this sense of searching. Searching to understand if this is the place I am to belong to? or is this the place that was just meant for a season in my life. Which ever the case may be, I need to move forward. All, I know is that I am at a place of complete surrender to God because it’s the only thing I know to do because I know he is control and I am not. I never would have thought that walking away from the homosexual lifestyle would be this easy, the difficult part has been everything else in my life but this issue, but God has been faithful through this entire process of growth. That’s what I keep telling myself, you came out here to grow and I have. Now I am just at a place on my journey that I need to apply all that I have learned. I know that God has me in the wilderness continuing to remind me that He is God and I am not. I know that through this time God is sovereign even through my inconsistency.

Moving forward? Is it moment by moment? Does it require drastic change? Is it inward or outward?

Lord, continue to show me your Glory. Continue to show me your majesty of your holy name.

Process…

So, I’ve been in Florida now 6 months. WOW, time has sure flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was unpacking my life here, to experience something that I didn’t know was possible. Can I tell you every little thing that has happened here? yes. Does it really matter? maybe. Was the experience worth everything? YES! Let me tell you why, In these last 6 months I discovered and experienced Christ on a dramatically different level then ever before. I learned so many things about myself because I took a risk. I know that maybe sound very prideful, but I took action for my life and fought for my growth. The was I look at now is, that yes I was a sinner, but Christ in his redeeming power has saved me from my death that I richly deserve. So what now? I don’t think learning will ever stop, sure new experience may come and new challenges may arise, but one thing remains the same, Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, and I live for that alone because of the transformation that he has begun and only he will complete.

Growth

I am overwhelmed by the love of the father. I’ve been blessed with a full-time job here in Orlando. This journey of growth has been one of the most challenging parts of my life, but at the same time it has been the most satisfying time of my life. I am never ever going to get another opportunity like this, and I love soaking up every minute of it. God, is amazing! I know that it sounds cliche because it used to much, but I have discovered His Glory and Majesty in a whole new level. His love has become a reality that I have never experienced before. Being broken before the Lord has been the most humbling things in my life and I have stay there. You see for me its not just a homosexuality thing anymore, its about holiness. Pursing God and living a holy life in a way that he has called to us live. I am being constantly challenged this new year to have that mentality always.

Pressing forward…

God’s hand in 2009

So today is New Year’s eve, and I am thinking about this past year of my life. God has taken me places I would never dream about, and its been absolutely an amazing journey. I think back on this year and all the changes that I have made. From moving out of Corona, to Monrovia and back to Covina. Leaving Starbucks to work for the LADOT, to Chicago and Now Florida. WOW! What a year! I thank God for everything this year, truly without him I would of never survived this year.

Its been an amazing journey walking out of Homosexuality, July 2009 was when I said ok God no more, I give it to you, and thats when he lead me to Chicago to my first Exodus conference. That was an amazing experience life changing journey. I think the most amazing part of everything was that my mom paid for everything. It was a time for her and I to talk about the big elephant in the room and I praise God that she knew I need to go and for that Mom I thank you! In Chicago is where I met my roommate and the journey to Florida began. I am so truly blessed to be here and truly amazed of the work God is doing in my life. I know that his hand has been in everything. I give all glory to him. I give all glory to him that my family has backed me 100% being here, and that true friends have stuck by through this journey.

My prayer for 2010 is that, my relationship and deep love for Jesus Christ grows more and more than ever. That I continue to fight through all that the enemy with throws my way. That my knowledge of the word grows and that through through the word of God mountains and valleys are moved in my life. My prayer is that my family would grow a deeper love for Jesus Christ and understand the reality of who he is. My prayer for my friends is that continue to put Christ first in the lives and put him on display every day.

“For greater things have yet to come…”

Orlando thus far…

So its been about 3 months since I have moved here to Orlando. It has been one of the most amazing times of life. God has blessed me so much. I often think to myself, am i really here? Is this a dream? NOPE! Its not. I am growing so much in ways that I would never think. Finding the strength everyday to walk out of homosexuality is only by the grace of God. Truly without Him this whole experience is for nothing. God has continued to pour out his love on me and truly revel himself to me. I know now that my life is for a greater purpose and I am starting to see the big picture now. I was reading a blog the other day about a young women who was also walking out of homosexuality, it was a blessing to read. God is truly amazing. I know that as I continue to walk this road, I need to fully depend on Christ and his mercy every single moment of my life. There is so many people out there who think that this is not possible, but with my God anything is impossible! I am living proof. Praise God for the Freedom that I found in Christ. Praise God that there is a way out of homosexuality! Praise God for the support of family and friends through this time of healing.

Praise God for greater things that have yet to come!

Australia meets an extraordinary gal…

I wanted to post about a dear friend of mine, who is about to embark on a new adventure of life!

When I think about her leaving and giving her life over to Lord, it excites me because I know big things are going to happen for her! I can remember meeting her for the first time when I was a tad little 7th grader, boy oh boy did she learn patience with me! I’ve always looked up to her as a sister, because she always took care of her little matty! One of the first big adventures she and I had was, driving to palm springs for youth retreat with no AC!!! Kristy and I cursing in her good ol red chevy cavalier. lol Good times. As I adventured into high school, we were a dynamic duo when it came to running the cafe ministry, I credit my steaming milk abilities to her training. Sadly, as seasons come and go so do people, and there was a brief silence, but God having his hand in everything, brought a dear friend back into my life. It’s so amazing how God works. One afternoon catching up at CPK brings a friendship full circle. Praise God to HIS mercy and grace!!

To my dear friend Bonnie,
I hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane, haha. I know God is going to do amazing things in your life as you head out to Australia. Praise God for everything that he has provided! My dear friend who is like a sister to me, I pray that you continue to let the Lord lead you and guide always looking to him for direction! Many blessing to you!

Your (little) bro,

Matthew
(matty )

Collide

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to go to Celebrate Youth Camp. Its been about 6 years since I’ve been to a youth camp. Memories came flooding back when I used to go to them all the time at CCF. The experience was such a blessing. These kids love the Lord, you see in the very way they worship Him. It was awesome! I got the chance to lead a small group with a good friend, we were put with he 6th and 7th graders. SO FUN!! Those kids are crazy, but God really used us and it was awesome to invest the lives of others. I got so much out of this experience and was so blessed by everything that happened this weekend. I was just thinking about my Journey so far in Orlando, and thinking about why I am out here. I know that God has me out here for a greater purpose then I can see, I am just striving to put Him on display daily. One, of the cool things that happened this weekend was, talking about God takes are broken pieces and turns them into a beautiful masterpiece! haha I know something so simple and small hit me so hard. My journey through homosexuality has had a lot of broken pieces and lot of them were created by my own doing, but praise be to God for his unmeasurable Grace, because without it I am nothing. Praise God for His grace that makes me a beautiful masterpiece!

This journey for far in Orlando has been a life changing experience, its amazing what the Lord continues to do in my life as I walk out of homosexuality. When you fully give everything that you are to the Lord, God really changes your life dramatically. Now, I am not going to write and tell you that everything has been peachy and dandy, NO! Its a fight! A battle that I have been fighting for 10 years, and I can say with complete confidence, that by the Grace of God I am still going. I’m not giving up. No matter what this world may say, no matter what others me think of me, no matter what my family thinks, nothing, because what really matters is, what HE thinks of me. I’m still going to fight!! God continues to provide for me while I am out here, and its been amazing to see his hand at work. Thanks for all the prayers and support!

In other news, I GOT A JOB!!! haha I will be working at the UPS store for the Holiday season. Praise God for something! I am blessed!!

I love this song! Be Blessed!